We can't do everything and I wish we could

I am feeling overwhelmed at the moment. This might be because about 2.5 seconds ago I was feeling pretty proud... funny how these things happen. I have been feeling pretty good about my servant heart, how much I am learning and growing and helping. Seriously, over the past week or so its been pretty amazing to be a part of helping bring the kingdom of God to earth in a variety of ways. But, as soon as I start thinking that it has something to do with me I am reminded (once again) that I am not the savior...

I just got an email about helping a Refugee family, came from a visit trying to help a local family, spent all week coordinating efforts to help a new family, and desire to keep running after these opportunities, but at the same time I am lying on my couch exhausted, reading over my course syllabi for the upcoming semester, and thinking about all of the different possibilities for my life, for our church and wondering how the best ways are for us to go about making an impact on the world around us. I wish I could figure it all out! I wish that I could motivate people to meet needs. I wish I could clear my head enough to say "yes" and "no" appropriately. I wish there were no needs at all.

But the reality is: There are needs, I am called to meet them, the church is called to meet them, we can't meet them all, there will be heaven for that, we keep striving, we keep seeking Jesus, we keep humbling ourselves that he might lift us up, we keep praying, we keep walking, we keep living in grace and hope that the promises of Jesus will come true in our lives. He really said that we would do even greater things that he has done... imagine a world where we truly believed that...

So, I think this post was all over the place, but I just had to get it out! Thoughts? ???

Through the country and back again.

So, here are all of the state signs that we saw on our trip. I have tried to put them in order, but it was little difficult because a couple of times we had missed the state coming in and decided to turn around and go back and get it.

We were a bit disappointed in Minnesota. There was no sign entering or exiting the state. What's up with that?

I think the total number is 13 states.

The road trip was fabulous and I highly recommend it to anyone who likes adventure. We may do it again at some point in our lives. Maybe we'll take our kids (someday:)

Ameica is truly a beautiful country and it is amazing to me how diverse the landscape is. I am in awe of creation and know that God had fun making the world. I love taking in different experiences and pondering what it would be like to live in all of these different places.

But, I live in Raleigh, North Carolina.

I am glad that I do. Life here is amazing in itself.

Maybe it was being away, but coming home and jumping back into life with my community is providing me with another sense of what God has created. Just over the past three weeks I have gotten the opportunity to a part of a baby shower, a new birth, helping clean and paint an apartment, helping coordinate rent money, enjoying my family, babysitting for friends kids, seeing my sister-in-law's passion for slavery victims, singing songs of praise and worship, walks, coffee, wine, the list goes on and on.

God's kingdom is truly beautiful. His kingdom isn't just the US, isn't just Raleigh, its bigger than a trip or life on earth can capture. I am thankful for an opportunity to experience pieces of it. Wow! Life is wonderful.

A Beautiful Wedding

One of my best friends from 6th grade on got married at the end of trip. She was a beautiful bride and I am excited for her new life with her husband Jon. I think they may still be in Hawaii soaking in the sun. Believe me, they need the rest :)

It was great to reconnect with highschool girlfriends, reminiss about old times, and talk about our current adventures. Some of us can still bust out our old cheerleading moves on the dance floor.

Watching our Words

Again, the words of scripture challenge me to think differently about my heart and my actions that flow out of my heart.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs tht it may benefit those who listen.
--Ephesians 4:29

My husband and I do a couple's devotional about once a week and this was the verse that we talked about yesterday. It is a challenge. In our marriage we came to the conclusion that for the most part we do a good job of encouraging each other and building each other up, but sometimes we take cheap shots or just don't think about how our words could hurt the other person. Its not only in marriage that we face this challenge though...

Why do I get a kick out of making fun of other people sometimes?

Even writing this blog has helped me to filter my thoughts. I ask myself, how is what I write going to be taken by those who read it. I recognize more and more that I need to consider this advice from Paul and truly apply it my life on a consistent basis. I generally think of myself as a positive, encouraging person (confident too :) But sometimes, I catch the attitude of my heart desiring to bubble over with unwholesome talk that would not be beneficial to anyone. For this I ask forgiveness, for this I pray for guidance, for this I am thankful for grace.

Almost Home

The final leg of our journey took us through Indiana, Ohio, and West Virginia. One of our pit stops was a dream world for my husband. Many of you know how much he follows Reds minor league baseball... we got to see another stadium and practice in Dayton, OH. So on our list of Reds minor league ball parks at the moment we have:

Billings Mustangs-- Rookie League?
Chatanooga Lookouts-- Double AA?
Dayton Dragons-- High A?

(I need my husband to make sure these are the correct leagues.)

After we left Dayton (which was a pretty cool town), we drove through the mountains of West Virgina. It started to rain! It rained hard! I was driving. It was scary! After we stopped for dinner in Charleston Matt took over the wheel and we pushed forward to Roanoke (just 4 more hours).

My brother's van has a gas gauge and an estimated amount of miles left before you run out of gas. It said 50 some miles when we left Charleston, so we thought we would drive down the road a little ways before stopping. This was a bad idea! Interstate 77 is a toll road with lots of tractor trailers, is extremely moutainous and curvey and it was pouring down rain so hard that we could barely see out the windshield at times...

About 15 minutes after leaving we saw a sign that said 38 miles to the next town. Our gas gauge read 37, we thought we could make it... I was nervous! Matt was calm! We felt like Kramer and his friend on Seinfeld. We kept going and I had my eyes on the gas gauge like a hawk. It would dip down lower than the estimated miles and then above them. Every exit provided another iota of promise for a fill up, but unfortunately the gas stations were closed this late at night and hard to find in the middle of the WV mountains, so we pushed forwards.

We were almost to one of the I-77 oasis' and thought we saw a gas station so we pulled off (probably because I had been freaking out for so long.) But the lights of promise turned out to be another toll road (did I mention that the gauge read 3 miles left at this point). I could sense that Matt was even getting nervous at this point. We were on another highway.

Ok, AC off, lean forward, coast, pray!
Zero Miles-- no gas station!

Then, on the left a blue sign Exxon! A huge sigh of relief left both of us as we pulled in and filled up our tank. It was finally time to relax and drive the last 3 hours to my parents house.

Back to the trip

I know you are just dying to hear about the final leg of our journey. What happened after Matt and Traci left Wisconsin? Well, here are a few more insights.

We tried to go into Chicago for dinner. Chicago is a HUGE city! We didn't really know our way around and there was no place to park. We got honked at a lot and had some fun watching people, but ended up driving around and bickering a bit because I was dying to get out of the car and starting to get hungry.

We finally found Wrigley field and a place to park. We walked around for a little while on the strip by the field and got to experience some rowdy fans that had just finished watching a game at the sports bars. Just before the rain started we found a cute little French/Italian restaraunt to eat at. It was delicious. Matt had a 4 cheese pizza to top off our "cheese day" experience and I had some aspargus with blue cheese and tomotoes to that was perfect for a late night meal.

Leaving Chicago was another experience. We were in the middle of a lightening storm. I had never seen actual bolts of lightening so upclose before. Very cool!

We finally made it to Merriville, Indiana for our last night away. We stayed in a nice hotel (thanks Ginny!) and slept wonderfully. I think I posted 5 blog entries that night because we had good internet access for the first time in a couple of days.

I forgot one

Two posts ago I was talking about pictues of the kingdom of God. This is one of my mom and her friend Bethany in a mask. My mom is one of the most loving and caring people that I know and has a natural way of playing with and connecting with children that is beautiful to experience.

I have gotten to experience this over the years and specifically in the past few days. I have to admit that sometimes I am cynical and wonder why my mom has such an easy time being "immature" and letting down her guard while playing dress up, singing silly songs, coloring, etc. However, as I continue to reflect on what it looks like to enjoy life and identify with children I must say I am a little jealous.