Something interesting I just read

A few months ago I started reading the Bible from the beginning. I have done this a few times in my life time, but this time, for some reason, the stories are either making a lot more sense or creating many more questions.

Yesterday, I read about the plagues in Egypt... this left a lot of questions. I still am wrestling through some of those... an except from my journal...
"The passover is a celebration, but is also a tragedy. Did you (God) not love the Egyptians as well? Did you not want them to know you?-- Wait! that is why you did these things-- so they would know you-- The Pharaoh was the one whose heart was hardened. Why did you do that? To show your glory? I don't know if I'm okay with that. Why show your glory at people's expense? Its all about you (God)-- I get that--- but not completely... so difficult to discern your character... I get that Jesus is the answer and the final passover lamb. I don't get your sense of timing... I'm sure your understanding is so much greater than mine, but sometimes its hard to explain to others (and even myself)... Maybe starting with Jesus and going backwards will help to see you more clearly. One day I'm gonna ask you these questions. Help me to trust you even when things don't make complete sense."


But, today was one of those days where things clicked... an "A HA" moment, a get up and cheer moment... the story of the Israelites actually celebrating the passover and how they did it. Did you know that they actually had to offer their first born son every year... but, they would always get him back... Did you know that they had to eat the entire meal in one house, with everyone unified? an except from my journal...
"Wow God! All of the first born son stuff is pretty awesome. You were preparing the Israelites to see Jesus as the fulfillment from the beginning. They were truly a chosen and unified people (millions of them). Thank you for their stories. It is very cool to see your consistency over time. I would think having them offer their son as a sacrifice each year and having him return would prepare them to see Jesus as your son, offered to take away the sins of the world, a completion of the penance and your presence among them. It surprises me that they didn't get it. But, we don't get it do we... we want things to make sense from our perspective. Thank you for showing me a glimpse of Your story today. Thank you that you are leading people to yourself through a variety of ways. Thank you for the beautiful picture of unity. I pray that we would move closer to that as a people now."


You see, reading the Bible can be very interesting stuff!

Hot Lanta!

I just returned from a quick and eventful trip to Atlanta. One of my best friends, Charlotte moved there a few years ago and I got to go visit her for the weekend. Its pretty cool because I hooked her up on a friend date with my high school friend Michelle. They hit it off and are buds now and Charlotte introduced me to her friend Katie and we are friends now... I love making these connections and seeing how relationships build and grow...

Anyways, we had some awesome meals... La Fonda, a cute cafe with a variety of latin choices. I enjoyed a grilled pork and mango salad. We tried the outside seating, but its still a little chilly.

I am so ready for warmer weather!!

Thankfully, Saturday was bright and sunny. We started our day off with the traditional walk to Alon's. I actually don't think I've ever been to visit Charlotte without going to Alon's. Its a traditional french bakery a short jont from Charlotte and Rob's house.

**Side Note** I have yet to find a good bakery in Raleigh and think we need one!!

We love walking and talking... that pretty much sums up Saturday, Piedmont Park, more walking, more talking, more soaking in the sun...

Then we met up with Michelle for dinner at Flip Burger. Now, this is a great concept for a restaurant. Basically, its just really interesting burgers and milk shakes. Charlotte got her's with pimento cheese, mine was topped with avocado and Michelle's was made out of shrimp. We had a ton of fun, not to mention that we had a hot waiter... maybe he and Michelle will reconnect??

**I think the burger concept would work in Raleigh, but the ambiance was way to clubin' for something like Flip to work here...

After Flip we drove down the street to JCT bar where we listened to live music and overlooked the city sky line. We found some friendly people to watch our table while we went to do our photo shoot...

You know how married couples do those pictures?? ?? Isn't it fitting that Charlotte and I would do the same thing?

We rounded out the trip with more great conversation and breakfast at Rise n' Dine with Katie. Now, this place would be perfect for Raleigh. It actually reminded me a lot of Nofo with out the store. The thing I liked best about this place were the people working there.

They were SOOO nice and friendly, even for it being SUPER crowded. Sometimes when it gets busy like that at Nofo my charm and charisma go out the window and I just turn in to a robot getting orders, this was not the case there, still a high paced hustle and bustle, but keeping the personality up! I was taking notes and hope to improve my serving techniques.

I also learned that when you make poached eggs you typically put vinegar in the water to help the egg stay together. I'm not crazy about my eggs tasting like lemon, but I learned something new.

A great time all around. I'm so excited to meet little Nate when he arrives in a few weeks. Charlotte and Rob are going to be awesome parents.

So, God must be trying to teach me something...

Through all of the reading that I have been doing and talking with people and discussing... I came up with the question... "Is there a difference between trying to follow Christ and allowing Christ to live through you?"

Yesterday afternoon I was talking with my friend Robyn and we discussed how there may not be a difference in the semantics of it, but in how the individual asking the question perceives it could be on the edge of a subtle, yet profound distinction... one that I don't want to miss.

So, I after returning from my morning muscle and spin class, made Matt breakfast and then entered into my daily time with God... omelet, toast, juice, coffee and water (yes, I do this about every day)... I opened up the Lenten Devotional and here is what it said...

Gratitude is the opposite of resentment, and "returning" is an inner passage from resentment to gratitude. Gratitude for the gift of your life is your response to God's abundant love. Your life can be lifted up and offered to God in thanksgiving. You will know the enormous spiritual difference between living your life out of gratitude for God's love and friendship, and living your life trying to earn God's friendship. It sounds simple and in many ways it is. But life is also a struggle and choosing to live the struggle gratefully and humbly as a child of God makes all the difference between a fulfilled life and an empty life.

God, I offer you my life and my death in thanksgiving for the privilege of being born and being loved.

What struck me the most were 2 things:

First, God knows what questions I am asking and where my heart is and the Lord is speaking to me. This is not the first time something like this has happened to me, but it just seems to be happening more frequently recently... WOW!

Second, Do I ever really consider just being alive, being born to be a miracle, to be a gift? Do you? When I do, I have one of those moments where freedom enters my soul and I need to stand up and do a cartwheel.

Pretty amazing stuff!
What about you? Do you struggle with working for God? Trying to earn God's favor?
Do you ever think about your life as a gift?

New Life??

Today I get the opportunity to speak at the Peace College Chapel. I did this about a year ago and ended up reconnecting with a student whose mother was with me at Ramuda Ranch; her mother and I had walked with one another through recovery from eating disorders. It was surreal, but amazing...

Today I will speaking again and drawing a few things in from my recovery process, but more so will be walking the students through my journey of faith... the beautiful things that I have learned about following Christ and the distortions that I have and still face while following him.

If you want a copy of what I am going to say, just let me know and I'll send it to you (its like 6 pages long)...

anyways, Maybe its because I have been reflecting on this recently, maybe its because I am in church leadership, maybe its because over the past six months how I read the Bible and what that means for myself and the community of which I am a part have been shaken and I am open new thoughts, maybe these thoughts aren't new but I am just finding others who are expressing deeply held beliefs that I haven't ever been able to articulate... So, I have been reading!

Over the past week I have finished two whole 200+ page books and snippits of several others...
I recommend
Blue Parakeet by Scot McKnight
The Naked Gospel by Andrew Farley
When Helping Hurts by Brian Fikkert & Steve Corbett
Possessing the Gates of the Enemy by Cindy Jacobs


I don't claim to agree with every word in their pages, but they have forced me to think,
they have prompted me to pray and
they have inspired me to live more freely...

so, maybe they will inspire you too. I am going to move on to book 3 for the week here in a moment.

Dynamic Water

Some of you have seen the pictures on face book from the murder mystery dinner that Matt and I were a part of a few weeks ago. We had a blast! Outside of just having fun and helping celebrate my friend Shannon's 30th birthday, we were helping to raise money for a great organization, Dynamic Water.

Dynamic Water is an organization dedicated to bringing clean, safe drinking water to those communities that don’t have access to such water.

You can be a part of helping bring clean water to individuals in Laisamis, Kenya. Its easy, just $20 pays one person's water bill for 20 years! Wow!!!

Here is how you can help:

In celebration of World Water Day, there is a fundraising campaign called “Pay the Water Bill”.

The idea comes out of something like this… if it cost $10,000 to drill a well that serves 500 people, that breaks down to $20 per person. So, by donating $20, you are essentially paying one person’s “Water Bill”.

The objective is to have individuals like you and me make donations in $20 increments and then encourage have us encourage our friends and family to do the same.

So, here I am, encouraging you... I paid 2 people's water's bill... will you do the same?

More of you God and Less of me... do I really mean it??

As you may know, we are currently 3 days into the season of Lent... a period in the Christian calendar that leads up to our celebration of Easter (Christ is Risen!!! Risen In Deed!!)... Anyways, part of Lent is taking up spiritual practices or sacrifices that lead us deeper into our true need for a savior. This year I am not giving up anything specifically, but am praying the prayer... "God, more of you and less of me." 

To help me actually live into this prayer I am reading a devotional with several others from my church family... The title is "From Fear to Love"...

I would say that I'm not afraid of much... at least not on the surface, so this should be an easy one for me right?? NOPE... It just so happens that at the same time I am currently facing several major freak outs areas ... just ask me and I'll tell you, but will spare the internets all the details!!

In the midst of my angst... I woke up and read this... thanks Henry Nouwen.... (or God's spirit speaking through the words you wrote)

Then your light shall break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up quickly. Isaiah 58:8


In the light of Divine Love, we are encouraged to enter into our deepest hearts, often hidden even to ourselves. There we actually touch God's light, and discover more and more our desire for that presence within. It's where we experience God saying, "I love you so deeply. I want to be present to you in all your 'lost' places so you will know not just your lostness but also in how many places I long to find you." 


This is an exercise of communion: to sit with God in the inner chapel of your heart and to say, "I've heard so often of your love but I just don't believe it. Mostly I believe that you only wish to judge me, but today I'll remain here in your loving presence, and present myself to you in all my vulnerability." Heart speaks to heart. 


This is not to say, "Well, you'd better start thinking about how awfully dissipated and resentful you are. No! This is to say, "When your're in touch with your dissipation and resentment, you're in touch with the very places that God waits to touch in you more deeply, and to heal you." 


Forgiving God, I fear to stop. I need love and want love, but I fear what you might ask of me... 


I want so badly to listen and enter into the fear and embrace what God is doing inside of me and around me. Here we go... 37 more days... what else will I learn??

Valentines Day & Justice

Valentines Day is just around the corner and many of us will be receiving and giving chocolates to loved ones. I LOVE Dark Chocolate, not so crazy about the milk, and white can be good from time to time, but I hope to receive some chocolate on this special day... hint, hint!!

However, I don't want to be a part of suffering as I am enjoying my chocolate.

Did you know that slave and child labor is often used in the production of chocolate? Thankfully advocates for human rights have put together resources to help us, the average consumer, speak with our pocket books.

Here are just a few of the products I would suggest staying away from :
Godiva (sad I know) ... If you love Godiva, let them know you want change (D-)
Russel Stover... one of my favorites growing up (D)

At least one I recommend:

Divine (A-).. You can find these at Ten Thousand Villages and a few other stores.

Also, Nestle is getting better (C)... they have made a lot of progress over the past year or so

To find out more about the rating systems and other products visit: Free2Work.org

Happy Valentines Day!!!