Can a large female please sing for me?

Its been months since I've written here, but our latest saga merits more than the characters I can fit in "What's on my mind" on facebook...


Words, where are they when you need them?? I am finding myself at a loss to express the emotional roller-coaster we have been through over the several days... let me see if I can go for it...

Waiting to close on the Culter house... everything seems to be a go, just waiting on the final details. Anticipating a great deal in a great neighborhood...

Ring Ring... "Hi Robyn Marshall" (AKA-- Amazing  Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams)

"Hi Traci. Hope you are doing well... we have a few updates and I just want to keep you informed on where we are in the process..."

**At this point the deal was that we were going to need to rent to the seller after closing for a few days-- No big deal from our end at this point**

BTW-- Do you see this amazing kitchen (both Matt and I can be in there at the same time :))


Tuesday, Aug 24-- My emotions-- desire to control, excitement, anticipation, longing for our new house, willing to be patient-- in my mind I thought... lets close early and get this guy out of there...

Wednesday, Aug. 25-- I woke up and went for a long run (training for a half marathon) and ran by the new house... up until this point I must confess that I have had a very bad attitude towards the seller and the situation. Prayer is a big part of my runs and I was able to actually release those feelings of anger and bitterness as I passed by the house and started feeling a sense of peace about the whole thing and that made for a great day... I thought I was going to be able to walk from here on out drama free...

La de da... on my way to home group...

Ring, Ring: "Hi Robyn" (AKA fabulous and hardworking woman who got this thing taken care of!)

"Hi Traci, I just have few updates for you and want to let you know what is going on..."

**At this point I pulled my car over... Apparently we might be in jeopardy of losing the house. Shady Loan Shark for the Seller was continuing to change and update the amount our Seller owed him... more than what we were willing to pay**

"Okay", I thought to myself, "Its gonna be okay." Robyn and the other agents and lawyers involved are working on this and it seems like the logical decision to sell us this house for all involved. I'll keep a positive attitude.

**We might loose this beautiful staircase and chandelier**

Being an external processor I start running mouth on all of the possible scenarios, but am trusting that it will work out the way it 'supposed to' (whatever that means).

**Have I mentioned yet that we have renter moving into our Peebles house on Sept. 15th?** Thankfully that sense of peace I gained maintained me throughout the next few days. Praise Jesus for that one.

Anyways, Thursday is a waiting game... at least for me, come to find out that our agents were working around the clock in negotiations with this Lender to come to some kind of agreement... we were kept well informed, but not brought into to many of the stressful and shady details on the seller's side.

Friday, August 27th-- The day of sorrow--

So, Robyn meets with Shady Loan Shark on Friday morning... I am awaiting a call to tell me that he decided to be reasonable... 10AM, 11AM, Noon... Lunch with a friend... still haven't heard yet... I start thinking, "This can't be good"... then around 2/3PM John Pace calls me  (you see John and Robyn work together and John helped us to buy our first house). Again, I think, "This can't be good"...

So, he lets me know that its all falling apart. The Loan Shark is being very unreasonable and there isn't really anything else we can do at this point...

**So the thought of having this gorgeous front door flashes through my mind as a distant possibility**

We start dealing with reality... we are going to lose $$, we are going to be homeless in 2 weeks, we are going to have to clean out our house and move somewhere??

Loss, Grief, Remorse, Fear

**Oh yeah, Matt is playing golf at this point and Monday is his birthday day**

He finally gets home to me moping around the house waiting for the Smith's to show up and take us out to "celebrate"...

I think I said about 2 words at dinner, Kim tried really hard to have conversation with me, but I was pretty much locked in my own little world trying not to scream and processing everything. I thought I was at peace, but Matt started getting upset about... If you know Matt very well he is one of the most even mannered people who I know and when he was expressing his disappointment, it made it even harder for me and the worst part was, I couldn't do anything about it.

Sat. Aug. 28th-- Tossing and turning I woke up to mow the lawn and have an intriguing conversation with a neighbor friend (another blog post to cover that one)... start cleaning and doing stuff... isn't there something that I can control around here??

Well, we ended up going to a few wine tastings and driving around Raleigh until I got to release a bit of steam and have fun with friends at an awesome Batchelorette Party.

I come home at 1AM to find Matt had gotten the 2 for $20 special on steaks and LoneStar and was watching Inglorious Bastards... I guess we all deal with loss differently... we were learning to let go and holding out hope.

Sunday, Aug. 29th-- Thankfully we had a busy day and kept ourselves occupied. We started to come up with a few plans for living and resigned ourselves to losing the house.

**We are going to have a shower with 2 heads!**

Highlights of the day: Seeing Scott's new place , having a few great meetings and finally JUMPING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE!

We were letting go... all the while informed that the realtors are still working...

Monday, Aug. 30th-- Matt's 30th Birthday-- This day we tried not talk about, but started thinking about options and enjoyed a great night together eating good food (that I made and it turned out good!) and going to the driving range to let off some steam... home early and got an email from Robyn again... still working on it, going to throw some "hail mary's" in the AM and see if we can still work this out...

Matt was still hopeful... I was kinda like, "sure"... Sleep was good last night...

Tuesday, Aug. 31st-- OFFICIAL CLOSING DAY!!

Ring, Ring: "Hi Robyn"

"Hi Traci (really she talked to Matt), but somehow it all worked out" We would be closing at Noon... if we still wanted to...  it was about 10AM...

I requested that Matt come home... lets talk this over... what in the heck??

Talk about an emotional roller coaster... I was shaking on the inside. Craziness!!!

So, shower and over for a last walk through and onto Sandman and Muphy for our closing.

So, we are now official home owners of 2 houses... and how do I feel?? ...

**GRATITUDE for a very hard working agent and her team Robyn Marshall and John Pace--  I know she had to even give up some of her commission to make this happen. Amazing and fun to work with at the same time. Two houses in and we will continue to go with PRG/Keller Williams in the future (although I hope it a long long time before we go through buying another house)

**RELIEF we are not going to be homeless

**ANTICIPATION for cleaning and moving and finding our way in our new space

**THANKFUL  for friends who have been supportive and generous with their listening and offering to help.

Okay, so that was a ton of info... I need a nap!