Thursday, May 31, 2007

Love/Hate Relationship

I have an ongoing love/hate relationship with technology. Today I am in love with it! I think this is because I have some great computer savvy friends who are willing to help me discover the amazing capabilities of my MacBook! I have just successfully finished putting together a slide show using iMovie for one of my best friends. One of the things that I used to complete this project was our scanner/printer/copier (which also came "free" when I bought my computer). I had no idea it was that easy to scan pictures in and have them actually look good!

Charlotte and Rob are moving to Atlanta. I will miss them dearly, but know that this is where they are supposed to be. Honestly, I am excited for the possibilities this move will bring for their marriage, faith journey, family, and careers.

I can see the benefits to technology. For example, all of the amazing blogs out here where we can connect, share ideas, and build and maintain friendships over vast distances. I am also a bit obsessive about checking my email and cell phone for some of the same reasons... but, then there are flip sides to everything.... more sendentary life styles, pressure to be available 24/7, decreased need for/desire for face to face communiction, technological divdes between socioeconomic and education levels...

I guess my relationship will continue to be love/hate.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Mother's Day--Late

WARNING!! THIS MAY BE LONG, but I think its worth it...

A bit of a back story to start. On Mother's Day Matt and I went to Roanoke to visit my family. We went to my parent's church service and the pastor asked a question: What advice do you remember your mother giving you while you were growing up? My mom looked at me as if wanting me to speak up... I did not say anything, but as I sat there in the pew I couldn't help but think, she told me "Remember whose you are. Remember who you are." I'm a little fuzzy on which one it was at this point, but I think they coincide...

So, I want to give a shout out to my mom (Mishna to some, anonymous in the blog world to others)... this phrase did on some levels and had the potential to on other levels to determine my actions as I left for my nights out in the Noke... but, today as Jeff preached in Colossians this phrase came back to me...

Who do I say that I am? Whose do I say that I am? Why does this matter? The difference between what I do determining who I am, and who I am determining what I do is huge! This has implications on so many levels...

First on an initial level: How do you get to know someone? For example, I met someone new today (she sat in front of me during service and then we saw each other later in the afternoon). As we started talking we caught ourselves asking... "what do you do?"... both of us referred to the fact that that was an ackward question, and we would just like to know something interesting about the other person. So, how do you start conversations and how do you answer initial questions without sounding like a freak. Maybe I just need to risk sounding a little odd...

Second: If who I am determines what I do, I need to learn about whose I am so that I know more about who I am... I am a child of God. the more that I learn about his character, the more I can understand myself and determine the actions to take

third: One thing I have learned through years of therapy and consistant reminders is that, even if I "did" nothing else, God would still love me because of who I am and not what I do. I need to sometimes just rest, be still, and know that he is God and I am traci. Jesus plus (nothing)!

But, I don't feel comfortable just staying there. This could be due to my lack of ability to rest, or it could be due to the fact that when I learn more about who I am and whose I am, I am pushed to take my contemplation into action, allowing my heart to move my feet and my hands... I hope that I ask I walk, I am walking with the feet of Christ and as I act, i am acting out of grace

I could continue to list more and more implications of this simple statement: Remember whose you are, remember who you are. But, I'll stop here and and ask: Who are you? Whose are you? Maybe we can learn from each other.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007


I just finished my second day in Statistics.
I am actually quite enjoying it.
We have this thing called "webassign" where you answer questions and get a grade right away.
I just finished my first homework!
This may not seem like a big deal, but I am used to taking classes where the homework is to read 100 pages and write 10 page papers. Although, I like that (in some sick way), I am enjoying this having a right/wrong answer thing.
And, it probably helps that for now I'm actually pretty good at it.

I'll keep you posted as the semester progresses...

Tuesday, May 22, 2007


So this morning I was drinking my orange juice and a rush of glee swept over me. I don't know if its because I haven't had my "usual" breakfast in a couple days, or that the flavor was actually that powerful. Some of you may know about the orange story that I wrote in High School, I won't take the time to write it all here, but I will say... sometimes its just wonderful to stop and recognize how much I enjoy little things like orange juice.

I am also thankful for the sunshine, beautiful days, the green mountains of NC and VA, time to spend with my husband, laughter (Matt learned this weekend that adults only laugh an average of 40 times a week and kids laugh an average of 400) I would like to be a part of raising the adult average. I'm thankful for my family, friends, good food, love, grace, mercy, and so much more!

What are you thankful for?

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Truth and Love

For many years of my life I was a peace maker. I didn't want anyone in my family or my friends to be unhappy or have to deal with difficult situations, so I would try to fix it all. It caused me a lot of problems! I didn't want to share my hurt or pain because I felt as a christian I should just be happy all the time, forgiving, and have no bitterness or anger. But, in reality I had a lot of hurt and pain and couldn't maintain the peace, no matter how hard I tried.

Through much therapy I have learned that there is a delicate balance of truth and love that are needed in all of our lives. I now know that its good for me to get angry, to cry, to speak truth to challenge others, but also to learn how to pick my battles, to extend grace beyond my human capacity and to love through difficult and seemingly irrational behavior on multiple sides of situations.

I probably shouldn't say "have learned", but am learning and am struggling with understanding why people can be so difficult. I want to control the world sometimes. But, I can't! That's frustrating, and I probably wouldn't do too good of a job, but anyways, I am probably not making any sense to anyone but myself... excuse me.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Tough Stuff

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievences you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Colossians 3:12-14

This is my word for the day, I needed it!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007


My fabulous husband told me on Sunday, "I like that you have a big family, I had a good time hanging out with them." For those of you who know Matt, to get an unsolicited statement like that is a huge deal (especially to his wife). But, even more important to this post is that he pointed out his care for my family.

I too love my family and had a great time in Roanoke with them. My aunt and 2 cousins even drove to Raleigh to surprise me at Graduation. It was completely unexpected, then we got to have a fabulous lunch a the Raleigh Times (one of Matt and I's favs). After driving back to the Noke with my dad, we got to have a special dinner with my Mom at the Metro (Roanoke's up and coming hot spot).

SIDE NOTE: Roanoke was pretty happening, I was impressed!

Then on Mothers Day we got to have lunch at my Grandma's with two sets of my aunts/uncles/cousins and then dinner later with the others who weren't at lunch. Its not often that we reconnect like this and I had great time catching up. Sometimes I'm not a fan of holidays (like Graduation and Mother's Day) because I feel like they are played up to get us to spend money, but maybe there are some redeeming qualities of official days that bring families together away from our busy schedules.

Yesterday was filled with convos with my brother and his wife! I'm glad they are moving to Raleigh!

So, if any of my family is reading this (including Matt's side). I love you and am thankful for you!

Monday, May 14, 2007

House Hunting

So, my brother and his family are moving to Raleigh and I have the privlidge of looking for a house for them.

Today I spent about 5 hours with some realtors looking all over. It was great fun. Besides the fact that my husband and I found a shell of a house in Boylan Heights that is VERY interesting, we also found a house that passes the sister standard.

I get way overwhlemed when things happen so fast. For example, we looked at the house for them, called them up and then there I am, helping them make an offer. After the realtors drove away I simply stopped to take a deep breath. When we found our house it was the same way though. I guess that is why "they" say that buying and selling houses is one of the most stressful times in life.

In the big picture of things though, its just a house... its temporary... its of "this" world... I'm GLAD!! That helps my needed deep breath last a little longer. It helps me to rest knowing that although where we live is important, its not the most important thing. Why do you think we put so much emphasis on things that don't last?

Sunday, May 13, 2007


Thanks to my friend Daniel, you can watch me graduate!

Saturday, May 12, 2007


Well, after Jason called me out on his blog I have been having a hard time sleeping, so I figured I might as well just go ahead and write something.

This is called UnStuck because I have had this url for about a month and couldn't figure out how to start. I'm not sure about you, but I put a lot of pressure on myself to have the perfect idea, to say something profound, something funny, something earth shattering, especially to start off with... well, I have come to the conclusion that I often come to my life that way: It could be a paper for a class, which book I read next, how I spend my time, what I do after watching Blood Diamond, where my brother lives, etc. and in those moments I get stuck.

Maybe writing in my blog is one way that I start being okay with just moving. Just asking questions, just putting my genius wisdom out there when I have it, and just connecting with other people who probably want to be UnStuck too. So, I invite you in to my life and hope that we can start converstaions that are average, funny, profound, tough, controversial, light hearted, and more.

Have a great day! I'm off to graduation

Can anyone show me how to hyperlink from my blog?