For many years of my life I was a peace maker. I didn't want anyone in my family or my friends to be unhappy or have to deal with difficult situations, so I would try to fix it all. It caused me a lot of problems! I didn't want to share my hurt or pain because I felt as a christian I should just be happy all the time, forgiving, and have no bitterness or anger. But, in reality I had a lot of hurt and pain and couldn't maintain the peace, no matter how hard I tried.
Through much therapy I have learned that there is a delicate balance of truth and love that are needed in all of our lives. I now know that its good for me to get angry, to cry, to speak truth to challenge others, but also to learn how to pick my battles, to extend grace beyond my human capacity and to love through difficult and seemingly irrational behavior on multiple sides of situations.
I probably shouldn't say "have learned", but am learning and am struggling with understanding why people can be so difficult. I want to control the world sometimes. But, I can't! That's frustrating, and I probably wouldn't do too good of a job, but anyways, I am probably not making any sense to anyone but myself... excuse me.