Saturday, February 16, 2008

Tears

I cried last night.

For some people this may not be a big deal, but for me its tough.

I don't like to cry and my husband doesn't have tear ducts. Its hard for him to know what to do. But, he held me. That was what I needed.

The tears came from a lot of places, but I think my journey group praying for me had something to do with it. Thanks A lot :)

I don't like to get in touch with difficult places in my life and for a long time have had a list of emotions that were not okay to feel. I still struggle with this, and am continually trying to break this cycle.

Yesterday was a good day.

4 comments:

Kim Smith said...

Why do you think that you have emotions that were "not okay to feel"? Feelings are feelings and you should never have to apologize for feeling the way you do about anything. Sometimes, you can't help how you feel. It's how you deal with those feelings that can get you into trouble. :)

Jenny Benny said...

Good for you! We'll pray and cry and laugh those emotions right off all the lists. =)

rdunexus said...

Hi! Welcome to the wonderful world of repressed emotion. Our culture (and our families!) has taught us there are certain emotions we can't show, because they make other people feel uncomfortable. Most people don't know how to deal with genuine (healthy) emotions. So we pack them into this box and let them fester and grow into unhealthy patterns in our lives. Some of us grow numb and we lose the "good" emotions along with the "bad". We learn to act happy when we feel dead on the inside. Some of self medicate to dull the emotional pain. Many of us never learn healthy patterns and we pass this onto our children.
I have missed out on so much life because I haven't given voice to my emotions. It's not like you turn a switch and everything is better. It's a day by day struggle.
I was reminded today of that verse "when we are weak, He is strong". It struck me that as we apear "weak", as we deal with our emotions in a healty manner we become better/stronger people; more able to deal with what life throws at us. Conversely, as we appear "strong", as we numb ourselves, we become more fragile.
I like that you said "I don't like to cry"...me either, but sometimes it is completely liberating/refreshing/clensing. And while it's a little embarassing if it happens in public, it's still better "out" than "in" (kinda like gas). Have a great weekend

traci said...

I'm not sure how the process of certain emotions and expressions of them being okay came about. I think it happened over time with lots of different influences.

It is a journey towards unpacking how to healthfully 1) get in touch with and 2) express various emotions. I'm glad that I am on the journey :)